One day my Mind will be my GREATEST STREGNTH...

"My mind has always been my greatest weakness. But one of these days I'm going to lock myself inside my head until I come out knowing how incredible I actually am. Lock myself inside my head, until I come out knowing how Strong and Beautiful I am. One day my MIND will be my GREATEST STRENGTH"... 

Rather than waiting for that one day to come, I am making a very real commitment right now. I Brooke Myers am making a commitment to making my mind MY GREATEST STRENGTH. 

 

 For years and years and years I have made a commitment to working out, running, yoga, and pushing myself beyond my physical limitations. But, I have never truly made a commitment to my mind. I've tapped in from time to time, but end up leaving the very same as I went in. 

 

 As a bulimic, I thought I was head strong because I could push and push myself to the point of pure HEll. In reality I was so damn weak and fragile. If I couldn't purge like the girls I knew, I was weak. If I couldn't run another mile because I was too tired or often times hungry, I was weak. If I couldn't starve myself like an anorexic, I was even weaker! My mind has never been strong enough to walk away on its own. It took my getting pregnant with my son to finally wake the shit up and do something about my Eating Disorder. I changed in that moment for the life of my son. Yes, that is a sign of strength, but I would not have chosen to give up the bulimic lifestyle had I not gotten pregnant. Truth!!!

As a runner, I learn everyday to push myself. I push myself to become a faster marathoner and a stronger runner. Running truly is mental and I fully am aware. I am also aware that I am not always mentally there. I know my body is strong and can endure miles of running. But my body is also weak at times too. My mind is weak. When my body is feeling weak I need my mind to pick up the lacking pieces of my body, but I am not always able to do that. Sometimes I just completely give in. I gave in this year running the Kona Marathon if you remember, I walked the majority of the race. I was not there mentally. 

 

As a yoga practitioner / yoga teacher, I have learned that the mind is to be still. Yoga is a time in my life where I am not supposed to be thinking about how my body looks, what I ate yesterday and the day before that. Yoga is teaching me that I need to come to mat and dedicate my whole self to the practice. Yoga is the one time where I should be able to get completely out of my head and into my soul. When I close my eyes I do not have to see all that I see in the mirror. When I close my eyes on my mat, I draw my attention inwards and go by feel.

 

So, as I sit here writing, I say to myself " what Brooke have you done to dedicate time to your minds healing?" Yes the fitness in all aspects, my son, my yoga life and so fourth plays an incredibly beautiful role in the healing of my mind, but I do not spend enough time in stillness. I do not dedicate time to meditate like I know I should be. When I practice I know how much better I feel, so why would I neglect spending time to meditate or sit quietly or fill myself with positive language? If I can spend countless minutes staring at myself picking myself apart, why can I not spend minutes in front of the mirror talking to myself beautifully? 

 

The most truthful answer I can give myself and give to you, is that I have never really wanted to change the way I think. I just say I do, but I never do anything about it. I say I want to look in the mirror and see myself the way I should see myself, but the very next moment there I go again criticizing.  

 

Do you understand where I am going with this? Can you relate at all?  

 

The mind is seriously the strongest tool we have, but rarely does it get the attention it should or in my case that it should. My mind has been neglected for so long. Now is the only time I've got to start taking care of my mind and making it become MY GREATEST STRENGTH.  

Just as I make time for my practice, family, running, and everything else in my life, I am going to make time for my mind too. I have to do this, there is no more putting it off or working around it. I have to start RIGHT NOW!!!

 

Sorry not sorry, for my ramble, but I just had to write it out. I need the world to hear me make this commitment, I needed to hear me make this commitment to my mind! And so here it goes................... You know that "struggle you're in today, makes you stronger tomorrow" quote, yes I love that quote but I'm tell you I don't want to be in today's struggle anymore. I want to be stronger today and everyday!

 

 

 

~Just Breathe

Brooke Myers