come on in, I'll say.

I'm most definitely surviving the holidays
and have most definitely eaten more than I should have.
Truthfully, I have probably not eaten more than I should have in quantity, but in sweets I'm 100% guilty.
You know what though, I am okay with it. I don't feel the need to obsess about it and you will Not catch me in the bathroom throwing it all up either. That's one thing different about me and my choice to choose Recovery. In recovery you learn to make mistakes and even indulge a little. What goes in does not always have to come right back out. The body can take care of that all on its own. It doesn't need laxatives, diet pills, or enemas. No it doesn't need any of that garbage.
I've learned that is okay to eat and not obsess over how much or little you ate. Being mindful is way more successful.
I think this year the only thing I'm truly guilty of is being HAPPY. I have had a great year and worked very hard training and teaching.

Everyday is all about making choices in the right direction of my recovery. Everyday is about learning what works for me. I have learned to understand that what works for me may not work for you and what works for you, may not work out for me. I cannot get caught up in all that non sense anyways.
If I've learned anything from choosing recovery is this: I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK!
I never want to go back to the lies, the countless hours thinking about food, multiple trips to the bathroom to purge, unlimited headaches, sore throat, blurry vision, and did I mention the lies? The lies I told myself and others.
I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK. .......
Recovery is hard no matter what. Recovery from an Eating Disorder in my opinion is the fricken Worst. It's hard every day in the beginning. My mind was so full of garbage I couldn't think straight. Sometimes that was enough to set me right back into the bathroom.
Over time it does get easier, but you have to work really hard everyday. In the end Recovery is so worth the fight everyday.
I'm looking forward to head into another year and looking forward to seeing clearer. I'm willing to work on my Recovery, as hard as I do at my marathon training. Well, pretty darn close at least. I think I'm guilty of loving running and training for marathons, so I may put a little more oomph into training. It's all good though.
And so as we near the ending to 2014, I am happy to say goodbye to a great year. One more week and I'm happily opening the door to 2015. Come on in I'll say, show me what you've got for me this year and  I'll show what I've got for you .....