Tuesday, November 15, 2016

If My Vagina Could Talk!

But seriously...... If my vagina could talk, I have a pretty good feeling this is what it might say:

"What? You want me to do what? Ooohhh, Hell No. No baby is coming out of me like that. No thank you, I will not be ripped or split wide open like that. I'd like to remain tight!!! No banana lips for me please and shit flying on the floor"


Okay, with all joking aside, you've asked and I'm going to answer your big question: Why am I choosing a C-Section vs. a Vaginal Birth???


In 2010 when I went in to deliver my son, my body was basically doing nothing on its own. I had dilated 3cm and was told to get to the hospital to check in and I was on my way to having this baby. I was beyond excited to meet this new life that I had been carrying inside of me for months. I was also, in so much pain at that time, I was in so much back pain (which is referred to as back labor) on my right side that I opted for a little help to calm things down. I was given an epidural and finally some of that pain started to reside. Within what felt like only an hour, I could once again feel the pain in my back and everywhere else for that matter. I was given a second epidural (shame on me according to some of you women who have expressed your feelings in regards to medication) and then I believe I finally fell asleep for a little bit and was able to get some rest.

When I woke up, the doctor came in to check on me and check my dilation. I guess my body was no longer dilating. At 6cm dilated my body chose to stop. I remember that my on call doctor that day even had to break my water. Still nothing was happening. 
As we moved into the evening, my babies heart rate was getting too high and considered at risk. "AT RISK"
My son was no longer safe, so the doctor prepped me for a c-section. It was what both myself and the doctor felt was the safest option for baby and baby being safe was my priority. I can remember actually listening to the doctors that Thursday evening who were performing the c-section discuss the difficulty they were experiencing with getting my son's head out of the incision. They mentioned that the size of his head may have caused some challenges for a vaginal birth anyways. In that moment, I knew we were doing what was right for all of us. It didn't matter that they were cutting through my lower abdomen and my uterus to get my baby out safely. It didn't matter that I might have to take a little longer to recover than a vaginal delivery. None of this seemed important or scary, it seemed necessary for myself and my baby's situation. 
I don't have an answer as to why my body didn't want to continue the process for a vaginal birth or actually never even send me into  "Real Labor" because I never got to experience contractions or pushing. It may have been my bodies way of knowing that I was not meant to have a vaginal birth and in its own way it was protecting the safety or both of us (Mother & Child.)

So with that being said, with this upcoming birth I have chosen a planned c-section to delivery my daughter. Many women have questioned why, but I myself have not questioned why. In my heart, I feel this is the best option for my baby and myself. I know VBAC is an option, but I have opted against it. My doctor has opted against it. I may not be the best candidate for a VBAC due to the situation that occurred with my son and the possible effects that a car accident years ago had on my pelvis. I had broken my pelvis in 5 places. No certainty there, but no need to take chances either.

I have had multiple women tell me that a delivery by c-section is not considered a "Real Birth."
Well we are all entitled to our opinions & my opinion is this: Yes it is! 
Birth is birth and in the end I would like to think all mother's just want the best for our babies. We hope for a safe, healthy, and happy baby. A safe delivery. C-section or Vaginal birth, it is still a beautiful and miraculous part of life. Each experience will be different and every woman is different. To those women who have delivered your babies vaginally, no medications, at home or in the water, I am amazed by you. You are Inspiring for all women.

In my situation, my son was in need of help getting out & my body was in need of help getting baby out. I was in no place to react, to fight, or question at that time. My heart felt a complete sense of ease and I was ready for a c-section birth. My heart again, years later, feels at ease with the decision to plan what will be my second c-section. I don't feel the need to take a "Risk or Chance" at a vaginal birth so I can be a part of this populated group of women who deliver vaginally. I am 100% satisfied with a planned c-section with baby #2. I am 100% satisfied without feeling the effects of a vaginal birth. And I am 100% satisfied with maybe taking extra time to recover post c-section, undergoing what is considered a major surgery, and feeling that slight tension that I have always felt from my previous c-section. 

At the end of the day, I have one very healthy and happy little boy and hope for a very healthy and happy little girl to come.

Now I know I didn't have to answer your questions, nor do I need to find a reason to explain myself, but I have chosen to respond. I don't mind sharing my experiences with you. I am confident in my choice to have another c-section December 6, 2016 to deliver my daughter. By sharing my response to your question that many of you have asked me, I hope you will respect my decision whether or not you agree or disagree. 


With love,

Brooke